The Machinery of Night

Posted 2:05 PM by Angie Schultz

BOOM! Ooooh...Ahhhh

Lileks has been putting up a series of images of fireworks art. Check it out:

Dr. Fiasco
Nuclear Meltdown
Tommy Gun and Glorious Awesome Beast from HELL! (Which would be a good name for a rock band.)
Back in Business (Huh?)
Monarch of the Forest
Ladies Night
Refiners Fire
Plane Flying at Night (good luck with those nightmares, kid)
Frog (now with the power of venom!)
Essential Power!

I love fireworks packaging. I always have. I loved the shiny cylinders and cones and crude bright colors of my youth. I wasn't as fond as the actual fireworks; I don't much care for loud noises (I like the ones that give off a shower of color with only a soft hiss). I always wished I could throw away the explosives and keep the packages.

I have moved to a new state, one whose laws are a strange mix of humorless, puckered liberalism and laissez-faire libertarianism. It's as if Montana collided with Massachusetts (actually, given all the celebrity homes there, I wouldn't be surprised if Montana is becoming like this, too). It's not unusual to see people riding motorcycles clad only in shorts: no shirt, no shoes, no helmet -- no problem.

And fireworks are legal. They're so legal they're not confined to dodgy fireworks stands (at least, I haven't seen any), but sold right in the grocery store, in front of God and everybody. You know those giant Easter baskets with a stack of toys inside? Or the big box o' beach buckets they sell at the beginning of summer? Well, they have boxes of fireworks like that. Wonderful artwork, with names like "Peach Blossom in Spring" and "Mach III Fighter" (in the same box).

At Costco they had boxes of fireworks six and a half feet tall and two feet wide. I saw a small, skinny man trying to rassle one of these babies into his cart, while his little kids danced around excitedly.

I really wanted to buy some -- for the artwork -- but

1)I'm cheap, and
2)What would I do with the boomy bits?

Maybe next year.