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Wednesday, September 29, 2004

Pssst! CBS! Need some news tips?

Well, it looks as if CBS is still in the market for some hot Hot HOT story tips. Well, I got 'em right here -- absolutely genuine (in that I, personally, did not make them up).

FBI scanning random computers for illegal downloads!

Bush refused to sell his house to blacks!

AND the voting rights of blacks will terminate in 2007! It's all Bush's fault!

You could have your FDIC insurance denied if you violate the Patriot Act!

The Post Office is going to tax email! (I have the actual documents for this one. And don't you worry none, CBS; you won't get fooled again! These were typed on a genuine Smith-Corona typewriter in pica. In 1963. Or at least, they look like they were.)

Oh, hey, here's a great one:

Bill Clinton got special treatment to avoid the draft! And he did not fulfill the requirements he had agreed to in order to do so!

What do you mean, you're not interested in that one?