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Saturday, August 14, 2004



Trial in a Lower Court


Lynne Stewart, who is/was the lawyer for Omar Abdel-Rahman (now doing life in the slammer for his part in the 1993 WTC bombing), has been accused by the government of using her attorney privilege to carry messages which allow Abdel-Rahman to "inspire acts of terrorism" around the world.

She, naturally, says that she's innocent and what's really on trial is the U.S. system of justice. Of course. Well, now she's "decided to take her case to the court of public opinion."

Oyez Oyez. The Court of Public Opinion is now in session, the Hon. John Q. Public presiding. Approach and be heard. But be aware that this court does not abide by the rules of a court of law. Facts are not weighted as highly as perceptions. Unchecked emotionalism is allowed, even encouraged. Prior bad acts will be tracked down and used in evidence against you. Hearsay and innuendo are permissable. Your private life, political opinions, and fashion sense will all be scrutinized and criticized. If any justice is done, it will be by merest chance.

Exhibit A will be a section of this interview of Stewart by Susie Day of the Lefty Monthly Review:

Day: Let's say you were part of a government that you actually trusted and supported, and your country held political prisoners. At what point would you think monitoring and controlling these people was acceptable?

Stewart: I'm such a strange amalgam of old-line things and new-line things. I don't have any problem with Mao or Stalin or the Vietnamese leaders or certainly Fidel locking up people they see as dangerous. Because so often, dissidence has been used by the greater powers to undermine a people's revolution. The CIA pays a thousand people and cuts them loose, and they will undermine any revolution in the name of freedom of speech.

(The Court thanks Eugene Volokh for this evidence.)

Annoying Reporter: What will the verdict be? Judge J.Q. Public is kind of schizophrenic fellow (he is large and contains multitudes). Obviously Stewart thought the crowd at White Plains YWCA would be sympathetic to her claims of persecution, but it probably didn't know about this interview. But Public also contains multitudes living in flyover country, who are less concerned with the legal niceties when the case assisting terrorists. And they don't like Commie-lovin' lawyers at all. Ah, the judge is back! Let's listen:

Judge J.Q. Public: Lynne Stewart, this Court finds you guilty of being an anti-American scumbag. This is not a crime under the law, but in the Court of Public Opinion, it's a flogging offense. Furthermore, the fact that you are an anti-American scumbag counts heavily against you in the actual case at hand. Therefore, this Court additionally finds you guilty of being a slime-covered, Commie-loving, Islamomob lawyer. You are guilty, bitch! Guilty! Guilty! Guilty! Bailiff, have the defendant fed to wolves.

Shoulda stuck with the law courts, babe.

SLAM! Next case!

In truth, I sure as hell hope the authorities have their legal ducks arranged, because they apparently did record her conversations with her client. This would be a definite no-no, unless they had some cause to suspect her beforehand. She's still a Commie-loving slime, though.