The Machinery of Night

Posted 8:36 PM by Angie Schultz

Hoist the Jolly Blogger!

Ahoy, me bonnie readers! As previously announced, it be Talk Like a Pirate Day, so that's what I be a-doin'. Actually, I be bloggin' like a pirate, unlike a certain scurvy sea lawyer I could name. Arrr, don't try any o' them semantics on me, laddie-buck.

If'n ye don't like the pirate talk, ye can go away and come back on the morrow, when I'll have some other bilge water for ye.

Anywise, ye can see that I'm back from my cruise of the South Pacific. I must confess a failure in our mission: we made nary a dent in the plague of paper umbrellers. To be sure, we made a haul of them the first day, but after that the devils got wind of us, like, and made themselves scarce. Yella cowards, the lot of 'em!

But we did relieve the good citizens o' Maui and Lanai of their burden o' picture postcards, ceramic pots, and fridge magnets. Arrr. There was weepin' and wailin' in Hilo Hatties as First Mate Niles made off with a booty o' ridiculous flowered shirts.

But it was a hard cruise, and I'm plumb tuckered out---partly because these here new-fangled aerioplanes work some sort o' devilment with time itself, so that me computer clock says it's three bells of the second dog watch o' Friday, whereas me internal ticker say's it's two bells of the afternoon watch last Tuesday, or some such lubber's talk.

So I'll be back ta spin a mighty yarn tomorry; tonight I spin a mighty yawn.

Yarr!