The Machinery of Night

Posted 8:46 PM by Angie Schultz

The Rites of Spring

Note: this small essay has been written by everyone in the world by now. It's just filler.

'Tis spring, when a young man's fancy turns lightly to thoughts of regime---I mean, time change.

Niles is performing the semi-annual Rite of Time Changes. This takes him half the night. Between clocks, watches, TVs, VCRs, phones, stereos, and the microwave, we have 21 clocks in the house, plus one in the car. (For some reason this is a very clock-intensive home. There's a place in the kitchen you can stand and see three clocks simultaneously. Naturally, no two display the same time.) This does not count 4 computers, at least three of which are smart enough to set themselves.

Niles says that he seems to acquire a new clock every time change. Clocks come with items that no sane person would recognize as needing a clock. I calculate that at this rate, in 235 years it will take us six months to set all the clocks in the household, and so we will be employed full time just setting our own clocks. Fortunately, we're not going to live that long.

Thank you for reading this rant which was fresh and amusing ten years ago.