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Sunday, October 20, 2002

American Lies

"I'm an American tired of American lies" is the title of this piece from noted pot smoker and bridge climber Woody "Woodenhead" Harrelson. Me too, Woody! In particular, I'm tired of the kind of lies you spout in this Wanker article. But giving it too much attention might suggest that Woody was someone worth paying attention to. I just want to comment on this bit---what Woody would do in Bush's shoes:

Easy: I'd honour Kyoto. Join the world court. I'd stop subsidising earth rapers like Monsanto, Dupont and Exxon. I'd shut down the nuclear power plants. So I already have $200bn saved from corporate welfare. I'd save another $100bn by stopping the war on non-corporate drugs. And I'd cut the defence budget in half so they'd have to get by on a measly $200bn a year. I've already saved half a trillion bucks by saying no to polluters and warmongers.

Then I'd give $300bn back to the taxpayers. I'd take the rest and pay the people teaching our children what they deserve. I'd put $100bn into alternative fuels and renewable energy. I'd revive the Chemurgy movement, which made the farmer the root of the economy, and make paper and fuel from wheat straw, rice straw and hemp. Not only would I attend, I'd sponsor the next Earth Summit. And, of course, I'd give myself a fat raise.

"I'd take the rest and pay the people teaching our children what they deserve."

Listen carefully, children: You deserve to starve to death in the cold and dark until a terrorist can get around to killing you. Have a joint while you wait.

So, what do I get paid for that? Is it as much as Woody got?

Also via Damian Penny.