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Tuesday, September 03, 2002
Posted
11:48 AM
by Angie Schultz
A Monopoly on SorrowMan, I hate it when another blogger gets to your idiotarian first. (Go to bed, Tim!) But sometimes they are in such a feeding frenzy that they leave a lot of meat on the bones. So here, direct from the Independent (of Reality) is Yasmin Alibhai-Brown Her title:
Thanks for speaking up for all Muslims.
Mmm hmm. Obligatory expressions of condemnation. Well, you've beaten out many of American Muslims already. Good.
Well, as to that---could you (the rest of the world) not? Could you just sort of...look away? Do something else for a while? Because, frankly, I don't want you watching our grief, or our anger. I feel like the relative of a recently-murdered celebrity who has to put up with a bunch of strangers at the funeral. Some mean well, and are genuinely grieved; some are just ghoulish voyeurs; and still others are spiteful creatures who---personally unacquainted with the deceased---gloat that he got what was coming to him, a calculation based on the tabloids they read. So could you just send a card or something?
See, now this is the kind of charming sympathy we can do without. From CAIR I'd rather have a plain vanilla anti-Israel diatribe.
Almost completely unreported, except for all those newspaper stories. (And what does this have to do with anything, anyway?)
Muslims are hypocrites. Check.
Now, Alibhai-Brown is writing for a British newspaper, so if she finds that the British are being maudlin over dead Americans, then I don't see any harm in saying so. But I do want to point out one thing. American lives are more important. To Americans. If something happens to my friends or family, I feel it more deeply than if it happens to my neighbors, and I feel that more deeply than something that happens to someone I do not know. The further away (not necessarily in geography) one goes, the less the loss is felt. This is simple human nature.
Gee, Yasmine, where were you before the war? Were you sipping champagne and discussing your unbearable pity for the suffering of the children of Afghanistan? Did you shake your head sadly at the women beaten in the streets, at the boys with limbs lopped off in the soccer stadium, at the bribes that the Taliban demanded before they'd let the guilty Westerners bring food to the Afghans? And if you did, did you have a solution? Was your solution to go to the Taliban (figuratively, of course!) and stamp your feet until they gave in? Do we even know how many people per day, every day, the Taliban were killing---a killing that was stopped by the Americans?
They're gaining weight and getting medical attention. Thanks for asking.
(Man, I swore to myself I would go easy on her, but...) The most basic standards of legal justice. Is this more or less basic than Saudi justice? Russian justice? European justice?
Possibly, in Kenya. That's for the Kenyans to decide, yes? (Oh, and you'll love this---at one point they were planning to sue the US government for...um...for um...being there. I believe they've since decided they'd have a better case against Bin Laden, and have decided to sue his frozen assets.) [...]
Man, I don't know what I'm going to do. I have a US flag, but it's in the stuff being sent back from Sydney, which isn't here yet. And all the flags in town are sold out, as are the pins, and the T-shirts, shorts, purses, beach towels, balloons, and Little Debbie's snack cakes, and Dear Sub-Commander Ashcroft has said that anyone not displaying stars and strips on September 11 will be shot on the street without trial! Guess I'll hide in the crawl space all day, just in case there's a house-to-house search.
"All creatures brown"?? This is going to reveal itself to be parody at any time now, right? Not very good parody, but parody still, yes? Hello? Anyone? Honestly, "Alibi Brown"? Wasn't that Huggy Bear's girlfriend? I saw the gardeners illegally detaining a squirrel, does that count?
Well, there's another author going right to the bottom of the "buy" list (getting crowded down there). Amerikkka! Most racist society on the planet! (I was going to do more, but geez...there's only so much bile one can spill before it erodes your tongue.) [...] At long last, we lurch to a halt.
Martyrs! Martyrs! Martyrs! Martyrs by the million! What a brave woman! There she is, sitting in one of the freest societies on the planet, one with a long tradition of free speech, criticizing another society with a similar tradition of free speech! How brave can you get? Hang your heads, alumni of the gulags! Bow before her, children of Tiananmen! Kiss her hand, brown creatures of the Third World---she has risked so much for you! She has risked imprison---no, hang on, not likely. Uh, CIA death squads...well, no...somewhat less likely. Just a sec, she's risked her job, her very liveli---no, no, she wrote this for her employers, the Daily Fisk, so I don't suppose they'd fire her for it. Hmm...her friends...yes! Yes! That's it! She has taken the terrible risk of being turned into a pariah in her social circle. Her friends no longer calling, her...oops, waitaminnit. She wrote about her frou-frou friends and their swank discussion ghettos in the article. I'm sure she'll be dining out on the swift and terrible blow she has struck the Great Satan. So...abuse...abuse...where's this abuse going to come from? Oh, that's right! From me. Oh, the humanity.
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